


Too Much

by Sluffy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Other, Overdosing, Sad Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-25 08:35:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30086385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sluffy/pseuds/Sluffy
Summary: Sometimes life just becomes too much.
Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 137





	1. Chapter 1

Techno hated his life. 

He's not quite sure why though. After all they're are people out their who are dealing with way worse. His household isn't abusive or anything. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Sure in the beginning it was a bit rough moving around the foster system but even then it wasn't comparable to what others went through. Plus it got significantly better when he moved in with Phil and his own two sons Tommy and Wilbur. Wilbur being his age, only a few months older, and Tommy only a few years younger. Even if he wasn't related to them by blood they accepted him. Treated him as if he were there since the beginning. And so it left him feeling guilty. Guilty that he hated himself, his life, that he would rather be dead than stuck here living, when others had it so much worse than he did. 

He's not quite sure when these feelings started, probably around the beginning of highschool when his family started drifting away. When he was younger him and his family got along great. Him and his brothers would run around outside like a bunch of little maniacs, wake up early on Saturday and watch cartoons all day, curl up on the couch and watch movies with Phil with a steaming mug of hot chocolate. But things started changing when him and wilbur went to high school. See the thing about Techno is he is extremely introverted. He doesn't like socializing, much preferring to be alone, coming across as cold and unapproachable. As a result he had very few friends. One person he always had though was Wilbur. Wilbur would always stick by him, inviting him to sit with his friends and hang out with them. Techno would feel bad of course. He felt like he was imposing on his brothers friend group but Wilbur always insisted that he didn't mind.   
At least he use to. Before high school. 

As they grew up, Wilbur started getting more annoyed with Techno. He felt as if he was obligated to bring him along everywhere when sometimes he just wanted to chill with his friends. He knew he could just tell Techno straight up that he wanted some alone time with his friends, but he couldn't bring himself to. After all he was pretty much the only person Techno had left as all of his old friends abandoned him after getting a new friend group. So he just sucked it up until it became too much until he finally snapped. He yelled at Techno, asking him why he had to follow him around all the god damn time, why he couldn't get his own friends, telling him he wanted time to himself without him following everywhere. He didn't mean to mean to snap. He was just having such a shit day at school and happend to take it out on Techno. He saw the hurt in face when he yelled at him and before he got the chance to say anything, to explain that he didn't mean it like that, to apologize, he just nodded before leaving to his room and locking himself in. 

Wilbur didn't know exactly how much of an effect it would have on Techno. After that day Techno started distancing himself. He ate by himself, kept to himself in the halls, didn't talk to anyone. He was all alone. Wilbur had tried to talk to him but he simply brushed it off. If Wilbur didn't want to spend time with him he wasnt gonna force him. It also didn't help that his other family members started to become withdrawn as well.Tommy was in his angsty, teenager phase where he stayed in his room all day long talking with his friends till 2 am and ignoring his family. As for Phil well he became increasingly busy at work. He worked such long hours that by the time he came home he was so exhausted that Techno couldn't find it in him to bother him with his problems. 

So he kept to himself. He was alone. With his thoughts and these unwanted emotions. He felt so lonely. He felt like he had no one. Not even his family who promised to be there for him. 

Then there was the problem of school itself. Techno had always set high standards for himself. It got to the point where anything short of perfect was failing. He would slave away over homework, spending all night tediously working towards perfection until he couldn't take it anymore and finally went to bed in the early hours of the morning. 

And so the days dragged on. Everyday it got more and more difficult for Techno to get up in the morning. His grades plummeting due to his lack of sleep. It all started becoming overwhelming. It became too much. He felt as though he had no control over his life. He felt as though he was losing his grip on reality. 

That's when he found himself in the corner of his room, the door locked that way no one could barge in, with a thin razor blade in his hands. He twirled it between his fingers, admiring it up close. Slowly, he rolled up his hoodie sleeve up to his elbow and brought the blade to his right wrist. Then he pressed down, dragging the blade across it in a horizontal manner, until a thin line appeared. Small droplets of blood pushing past the broken skin. Honestly he was surprised. He expected it to be more painful, all there was was a small stinging sensation. He didn't mind the stinging in fact he quite enjoyed it. And so he once again brought the blade to his wrist, only a few centimeters below the first, and cut again. The sensation was thrilling. He couldn't really explain it but he felt in control, the pain bringing back his grasp on reality, it kept him grounded. And so he did it over and over again until eventually he ran out of room on right wrist. As he was about to move on to the left wrist he heard a knock on the door signaling dinner was ready. It was only then did he realize the mess he made, blood dripping onto the floor. He quickly grabbed a tissue to sop up the fresh blood still coming from the cuts and wiped down the floor. He didn't bother bandaging them, he simply rolled his hoodie sleeve down once the blood stopped and made his way downstairs. 

It was his dirty little secret. One the kept from everyone because he knew if his family found out they'd be upset, they'd question him and quite frankly he didn't want to deal with that, he didn't want to deal with them pretending like they care about his well being when they don't. Phil was probably the only exception but even then he didn't want to stress him out further. Keeping it to himself would be for the best. And so he kept cutting himself. He knew it was wrong but it helped him. It kept him together. Everytime school became to much, or he was lonely, or he started losing his touch with reality he would cut himself as a reminder that he was still very much here and to show that he had control over some part of his life. 

Things didn't improve. His mental health plummeted and he was so incredibly lonely with nothing but his thoughts. And those thoughts weren't pretty. They started telling him stuff. Telling him that he wasn't good enough, that he was a burden on his family, a weight that was keeping them from being happy, that no one wanted him or would ever want him, that his family would be so much happier if he was gone, that they wouldn't miss him, that it would be a relief off of their shoulders, that he was a failure and didn't deserve to live, that he brought nothing of value to this world, he had nothing to offer so he should just die, he was worthless, good for nothing, he wasnt happy so why keep going. At first he would push those thoughts away, telling himself that they weren't true, that his family did love him and that he was worth something. 

But as time went on he couldn't help but start believing them. The few times he did see his family, which was for dinner, it often resulted in either Wilbur and Tommy engaging in playful arguments while Phil answered emails, leaving Techno to be completely ignored or ugly arguments between him and his brothers which would end by Phil yelling at them and sending them to their rooms. It made Techno sad how close Tommy and Wilbur were while he was left behind. There were times in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep that he would go downstairs to get a glass of water when he would hear Tommy and Wilbur chatting in one if their rooms. He was never invited in fact most of the time his brothers just acted like he didn't exists. He knew it was mostly his fault, after all he was the one that pushed them away, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. It didn't help either that, due to him hardly sleeping, his grades were really suffering so much so that Phil would snap at him, demanding to know why he was failing. 

It all became too much. An endless cycle of unhappiness. Those thoughts plagued his sleep, screaming in his ears to just end it all. They promised peace, that his suffering would end if he did it. He tried to push them away but as time went on the more tempting it seemed. 

Until one day he snapped. 

He just couldn't do it anymore. He just wasn't happy and clearly his family wasn't happy with him either. Plus its not like anyone would miss him either. He wasnt going to lie the thought of dying was terrifying but it couldn't possibly be more painful than living. So one random night he decided to go through with the thoughts. Nothing had triggered him to do it. It wasn't as though he got into a fight with his family or anything. He just realized it simply wasn't worth it. He got up from his bed and crept down stairs, everyone should be asleep right now after all it was 5 am on a school night, and walked towards the medicine cabinet. He opened it up and observed the many different medicine bottles. To be honest he wasn't even sure what would be the best thing to take, he probably should have done more research. He decided to reach for the bottle of Advil, luckily for him it was pretty much a brand new bottle. He popped open the cap and observed the capsules inside. He wasn't sure how many he would need to take in order to get the job done, so just to be safe he was going to take about half the bottle. He poured about 10 capsules into his hand before downing them, it was a bit difficult to swallow all of them but he managed. Then he took another 10 capsules and took those as well, repeating the process until the bottle felt significantly lighter. He put the bottle back where it was and slowly made his to his room. He was starting to feel the effects. He started feeling dizzy, stumbling to his room while trying his best to not wake anybody. He finally collapsed on his bed. He can feel his beating fast against his chest. He felt a sudden lurch in his stomach, his body not doubt trying to reject the many pills he just slammed. He hunched over panting hard, before falling back into his bed, his vision becoming fuzzy before everything went black.


	2. The Aftermath (Phil's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil finds an unresponsive Techno in his bedroom.

Phil awoke at about 5:30 am needing to get to work early. Work had been killing him lately, his entire day revolved around it. He felt guilty if he was being honest that he hasn’t been spending as much time with his sons as he used to. He knew they understood and that they didn’t mind but he couldn’t help but feel bad. He wasn’t too worried about Tommy or Wilbur, he was worried about Techno. He seemed more closed off than usual, sure he has always been like that but not to this extreme. He’s been ignoring everybody around him, including himself which was a bit of a shock, he always thought he had a good relationship with Techno. Lately his performance in school had dropped and he had to get on his case. He couldn’t help but feel bad as he was lecturing Techno, he saw how dejected he looked while he was lecturing him but he simply couldn’t tolerate laziness. He knew Techno was bright, he had seen it before, he excelled in middle school having top grades. He didn’t know what happened. He assumed it was laziness but even then he knew Techno wasn’t lazy, he had seen the way he slaves over his homework, staying up until absurd hours of the day to complete it, so what was it? He wasn’t stupid. He had a feeling his grades dropping was related to his recent change in behaviors but he wasn’t sure how to ask him about it. Every time he planned to, he got distracted with work or his other two chaotic sons. He’ll be sure to ask him today.

He rolled out of bed, stretching before making his way to the bathroom. However before he got there, he heard a small commotion upstairs. He frowned, who the hell was up at this time. He made his way out his room, stepping into the open area where the living room and kitchen were. His attention caught on a slightly open cabinet. He made his way over and recognized it to be the medicine cabinet. He opened it up and scanned the various different medicines, but nothing looked out of place so he figured maybe one of his sons had a headache and took some painkillers. Still he went upstairs wanting to check up on whoever wasn’t feeling well. He peeked into Wilbur's room but he was sound asleep, looking undisturbed. He moved onto Tommy’s room and saw a similar picture, so he figured it must’ve been Techno. He opens his door and peeks in. He saw Techno sprawled on his bed, he seemed to be sleeping but he didn’t look peaceful like Wilbur or Tommy. His face was twisted in a grimace, he looked in pain if he was being honest. He walks over and tries to gently shake him awake, calling his name softly. He wanted to know exactly what was bothering him. However, even after a few shakes he still isn’t waking up, in fact he wasn’t even moving. Panic seized through him as he tried again shaking him a bit more aggressively and calling his name a bit louder and yet he still wasn’t responding. He brings his hand up towards his neck, checking his pulse. His face pales and he becomes even more panicked as he feels Techno’s pulse thumping nearly twice as fast as normal. He immediately scoopes Techno into his arms, carrying him downstairs and towards the front door not bothering to tell his other two sons as he is just trying to hurry. He grabbed his phone and keys, shutting the door before making his way over to the car. He loads Techno into the passenger seat, buckling him in before slipping into the drivers side. He starts the car before backing out of the driveway and gunning it to the nearest hospital. 

There are a million thoughts running through Phil’s mind the main one being what the fuck. What the fuck is happening. He isn’t stupid he knows exactly what happening, Techno is overdosing. What he doesn’t understand is why. Why was Techno trying to kill himself? He didn’t understand. Was there something going on that he didn’t know about. Gods how could he be so fucking stupid. He should have seen the signs. He knew something was up with Techno and he just brushed it off, ignoring it thinking he was just stressed from school. And now his son might die because of it. How had he failed so bad as a parent? Where exactly did he go wrong that it made Techno want to end his life? Was he that terrible of a parent that he didn’t make Techno feel loved or wanted? Had he neglected him that much? He had thought he was a good enough parent, not perfect obviously but good enough. Obviously he was wrong if his son tried to kill himself. Tears started to well up in his eyes, blurring his vision but he blinked them back. He couldn't let them fall because once they do he knows he won’t be able to stop and he really needs to see right now. After all he is going a hundred and ten in a sixty and it’s really not in his best interest to crash right now. 

While he was driving he got a call from Wilbur no doubt wondering where he was. Fuck. He just realised he was going to have to explain to his sons that his brother tried to die. Phil really wanted to ignore the call but he knew it would worry them further and frankly he would much rather tell them now than at school. So he answers the call, putting it on speaker. He hears Wil’s voice coming through the phone, his tone confused as he questions where Phil and Techno are. Phil really didn’t want to tell him, he knows it’ll crush him and then Wilbur would have to break the news to Tommy and gods why is this happening. Finally. Finally after waiting several moments he told him. Told him how he found Techno passed out, overdosing in his room and how he was rushing Techno to the hospital, desperately hoping he wasn’t too late. Wilbur was quiet for several moments, several thoughts no doubt going through his head before he finally spoke. Asking Phil all the questions he himself was wondering. He wanted to know why. Why had his little brother tried to off himself? Phil wished he knew, he wished he could tell Wilbur that Techno would be fine, but if he was being honest with himself even he wasn’t sure if he’d make it. All the worst possibilities are running through his head. He is so deep in thought that he almost doesn’t hear Wilbur asking if he had to tell Tommy. Phil’s heart clenched. Wil sounded so broken, so defeated. It broke his heart more when he told Wilbur that he would be the one informing Tommy. 

Finally after what seemed like a forever long drive, they arrived at the hospital. He hastily parked, shutting off the car and hurrying over to the passenger side to get Techno out. He carried Techno in his arms before rushing into the hospital. Upon entering, he was immediately directed to emergency. Techno was taken from his arms, and put in a medical bed. The nurse got to work, immediately putting in an IV. Phil’s stomach dropped in horror when the nurse lifted up Techno’s sleeves to input the IV. The entirety of Techno’s forearms were littered with cuts. Some look older, already scaring, while others look new and fresh, barely starting to scab over. He wanted to cry at the sight and he was certain his other arm was similar. God he felt like such a failure, all the thoughts and questions he had during the drive returned at full force, especially now that he had nothing to distract him. The nurse forced Techno awake, needing him to take activated charcoal to absorb the poisoning the overdose of medication was causing. Techno stirred, his eyes glazed and unfocused. Phil’s heart broke at the sight. He was certain he would have nightmares about this experience. The nurse began to slowly explain to Techno where he was, why he was there, and what she needed him to do. The nurse handed Techno the cup of activated charcoal. He looked at it uneasily before downing it, his face twisting at the taste. It was a few moments before he threw up into the bucket they gave him. Phil rubbed his back in a comforting manner as Techno gagged and continued to throw up. When he was finally done the nurse told him that Techno would be fine, that the charcoal absorbed most of the medication poisoning, and that they were gonna keep him for a few hours just to monitor him before they could leave. Phil sighed in relief before texting Wil telling him the news. Techno had dozed off shortly after he stopped throwing up. Phil observed him while he slept, wondering what thoughts were running through his head. God this something he never thought he would experience but he did. Techno, his son, had tried to kill himself. No matter how many times he said it still wouldn’t register in his mind. He knew he would have to talk to Techno after they got home and no doubt safety proof the house so Techno couldn’t hurt himself, but for now he texted his boss telling him he couldn’t go into work and watched Techno, waiting for him to wake.


End file.
